The Power of No — James and Claudia Altucher

It emphasises the importance and benefits of saying no to several situations that can cause us harm. It doesn’t go into the details of how to actually say “no”. It includes an interesting 5 year plan for success. Focused and constant effort will undoubtedly help you make a living by yourself.

My rating: 2/5. It was OK. My notes length: 4 min.
Date read: April 03, 2016. More information on Amazon.

My Notes

Fear

Ask for help even if you feel that you are overexposing yourself, as it’s the most courageous thing you can do.

We are taught to please more than to take chances. Take chances and live a fearless life.

Dial down jealousy by realising that your life is abundant. Jealousy is just the fear of losing something.

We are no longer living in scarcity. Look for the abundance in your life, even when you feel desperate, hurt, or defeated. You’ll feel better because of it.

Realise that failure is a fact of life. Your life is a failure highlighted by brief successes.

You are likeable just as you are, without having to lie or throw your successes in other people’s faces.

Use your introversion to your advantage. Introverts are better at focusing, observing, and listening.

Relationships

Don’t go to a date with an agenda or plan, focus on being present instead.

Realise that you’re not in control of your relationships, you can’t orchestrate them.

You don’t need to change anyone, make anyone understand, or make them accept your point of view. You can just be honest by saying what you believe.

Be true to yourself and willing to be open when relating with others. Let a higher power play it’s role into love.

Treasure silences as they mean love; they mean that we’re interested and we care.

Ask yourself what do you really need to understand about a situation. Pay close attention to your gut.

Prefer being healthy than being right.

Saying no to everyone you love means saying yes to yourself. That’s a proof of honesty and that you love yourself.

Living as if it’s your last day isn’t helpful because it’s assuming that tomorrow will never come. Live as if it’s everyone else’s last day.

Thoughts

Watch your thoughts and try to avoid living as a slave to them.

Separate yourself from your thoughts by labelling them as useful or not useful.

Stop complaining to start seeing opportunities.

You can say No if you don’t have enough information.

You can say No if you don’t like the person.

Don’t do anything you don’t want to, or you’ll end up hating the person that asked you. Say No to reclaim your power.

Don’t try to force yourself to like something you deep down don’t like. It’s arrogant to believe that you can change that kind of things.

Manipulation

Recognise when a person is being abusive or manipulative. They’ll try to make you feel guilty, angry, afraid, wrong. They’ll make themselves a victim, or turn others against you. They’ll try to sound reasonable.

Don’t engage with abusive people. You can feel compassion for them, but you don’t need to spend time with them.

When someone is trying to manipulate you; acknowledge them, set your boundary, and be the one to close the issue.

Realise that the one needing to manipulate you is on a weaker position. Be honest instead.

No

Realise that No is a tool to discriminate.

When confronted with a decision, you can sleep on it, be honest, delay the decision, or be loving. It will help you decide better if you want to do it or not, and how to say No.

Learn to say No, and you will be able to say a true Yes.

Plan

Everyday is a step towards some place. You decide if it’s a step forward or backward.

Write daily 10 ideas about anything. It can be things you like, problems you’ve identified, or solutions you’d like to exist. You have to go through the bad ideas first so you can reach the good ones.

Find an area you like. Go to the bookstore and find a topic you’d like to read two hundred books about it. If you get bored, go back and find a new topic.

If you can’t decide between two topics, then read about both of them and you’ll be the best in the combination.

The first year just start doing things. Fail in everything and read everything. Two hundred to five hundred books equal to a good mentor.

The second year start networking with the people you now know are the best in the topic you like.

Network via making your way through the influence circles. The first circle is your friends and family. Then it’s online communities. Then meet-ups and coffees. Then conferences and leaders. Then mentors. Then customers and wealth creators.

You can meet mentors after having enough knowledge, after reading one or two hundred books. Email them ten ideas to 20 different potential mentors. Repeat every week to different potential mentors.

The third year, along with writing daily ideas, you’ll be generating ideas that might make some money.

After three years you’ve invested 5,000 hours which is good enough to be in the top 200. The top 200 in any field can make a living out of it.

The fourth year you’ll know which ideas to scale, so you can make more money out of them.

The fifth year you’ll be able to make a living on the topic you like.